It’s difficult to have the divorce conversation with your children, but you’ll need to do it at some point. They need to know what’s going on, and exactly how many details they need likely depends on their age.

It’s important to broach this topic carefully so that the children don’t feel overly stressed or confused. Here are four tips that can help both you and them during this time.

Tell all of the children at the same time

First of all, do not pick specific children to tell about the upcoming divorce and let them know first, planning to move on to the other children after that. It’s much better to tell everyone at once. Doing this protects the children from finding out about the divorce from someone else.

Address their concerns

This conversation should primarily touch on the concerns that the children are going to have at this time. For instance, they may be concerned about whether or not they’re going to have to move away from their friends or if they’re going to have to enroll in a new school. Take the time to talk about these issues, even if you don’t believe they’re the most important.

Reassure them that it’s not their fault

Children very often have a self-centered worldview that makes them believe that a divorce could probably be their own fault in some way. As a parent, you are well aware that this is not the case. But don’t take it for granted that the children also feel the same way. They may need a lot of reassurance, so you want to make sure they know that you love them and that they are not responsible for what’s happening.

Allow them to ask questions

Finally, always remember that this is a conversation. It’s not a situation in which you’re just informing the children. It has to be a two-way street, and you need to give them a chance to ask questions, as well. This can help to alleviate a lot of their fears and concerns, and it shows them that you care about them because they are heard and acknowledged.

Exploring your legal steps

Once you and your spouse talk to the children and start to get this process in motion, take the time to look into all of the legal steps that you’ll need to take for a Kentucky divorce.